Faster Badcop! Muse! Muse!
by Dr.Muse
Summary: A short oneshot fic in which we find BadCop in the hospital thanks to Lord Business. Set before the events of Taco Tuesday. Angsty BadCopxLord Business pairing.


****_ Disclaimer. I do NOT OWN the characters from the lego movie. _

"Mr. Bad Cop? I just came to check on you, how's everything doing?"

The nurse stood there looking at me with an expectant look on her face, like she was talking to some dumb puppy.

"Tell Lord Business it's almost time."

She scurried off and left me to sit wondering if he would even care enough to come.

I can't believe this is happening to me. I told Lord Business, I warned that bastard so many times but of course he never once listened to me. I am his just his errand boy, his little dog.

How I hated him.

I close my eyes and see nothing.

I know I'm better than this, my dad told me so. I am a professional, I take a few deep breaths… when I feel stress my system is slow and methodical.

Breathe in.

1…2…3…4

Breathe out.

A fuzzy image forms in my mind. Yes…I relax and the image becomes clearer, more real…until…

I open my eyes and I'm back on the farm.

They say you can tell a lot about a kid from their room.

I see the four familiar walls of my childhood. Of course there are no posters of sports teams or bands, my walls are bare, just as they always were, save except for an 18x24 inch framed wall hanging of a handsome man in LCPD Dress Blues. "I want *you* for Lego City Police Department." Just as I remember it.

I guess I never had a chance at becoming anyone else.

My desk is as cluttered as my walls are bare. Instruction manual after instruction manual are stacked on my desk. Some of the pages are crumpled, some are ripped out and there are coffee stains over everything, just as I remember it. Even as a boy I was observant of the rules but was always so quick to disrespect them, isn't strange how some things never change?

My consciousness drifts and suddenly I am downstairs. My parents are with me sitting in the front room, relaxing after a hard day's beat. My kindly mother is knitting a new scarf and my father is smoking his pipe and reading the paper. The sharp clicking of my mother's needles and the smell of my father's pipe smoke is also exactly as I remember it.

My parents turn to face me. I draw breath to speak but it freezes in my throat.

Their faces aren't as I remember them, they are wearing the same horrified expressions they had when I glued them and silenced them forever. They lurch towards me making terrible sounds. I can see the lost love in their eyes, the betrayal, the anger and suffering.

Breathe in. 1…2..3..4

I open my eyes and I am back in the hospital room, staring at the off-white ceiling.

I lift my hand to mop away the sweat from my brow.

I am exhausted, living this lie that Lord Business created, sometimes it is so hard be the "bad cop" he wants me to be.

His words still echo in my head. "No... ...more... ...Mr. Nice Guy!"

Lord Business knew that I had a problem and he still accepted me, he helped me overcome my weakness.

I wish I had it in me to steel my resolve, try to take a page from his instruction book and be ruthless enough to take whatever I want and not let anything stand in my way, if I were like that I never would have let-...wait do I smell smoke?

"Knock Knock, Slick!"

Bad Cop's thoughts were interrupted as Lord Business barged in the room in his typical dramatic, menacing fashion.

"How's my big bad Mr. Cop? And more importantly How is Lil' Lord Business Junior, you had better be taking good care of our son." Said Lord Business from the foot of the hospital bed where he was standing.

"Sir, at this point all I can do is wait, the nurse said contractions will likely start in a few hours"

"Blah Blah Blah! Do you remember why I took you in from that backwoods farm in the first place? When I tell you I want something done I want RESULTS, Bad Cop, and that's why I have come to expect for you. I just hope for your sake that you don't pass any of your weakness on to our son!"

I cowered in my hospital bed, I was completely vulnerable now bed-ridden and with his son inside me.

"Oh hey hey shhh!" Lord Business smiled, lifting a finger to Bad Cop's trembling lips. "Don't look at me like that, slick! I need you back and raring to go after you pop my kiddo out! The special is still out there and I *am* paying you to be a cop after all!

"Y-yes sir"

"That's the spirit!" Lord business beamed as he leaned back and crossed his arms. "The special is on the run with his little band of misfits, taco Tuesday is sure to succeed, and my legacy is secured! You know Bad Cop, it's just like we say in that wonderful population-controlling song of ours! Everything *IS* awesome!"

"Y-yes sir" was all Bad Cop could bring himself to say, his feelings utterly dulled to anything save for the kick of his unborn baby.

"Well then, I would looooove to stay and help you with the delivery but I think I'll be busy doing literally anything else. Sorry to love you and leave you bad boy but I'm gonna have to scoot! See ya!"

Bad Cop sat exhausted both emotionally and physically from his encounter with Lord Business. He knew that for the health of his unborn baby he would have to calm down… and the smoke that filled the room as Lord Business made his trademark exit wasn't going to help, but he still had to try.

Breathe in.

1…2…3…4

Breathe out.


End file.
